In 1872 Sarada Devi paid her first visit to her husband at
Dakshineswar.
Four years earlier she had seen him at Kamarpukur and had tasted the
bliss
of his divine company. Since then she had become even more gentle,
tender,
introspective, serious, and unselfish. She had heard many rumours about
her husband's insanity. People had shown her pity in her misfortune.
The
more she thought, the more she felt that her duty was to be with him,
giving
him, in whatever measure she could, a wife's devoted service. She was
now
eighteen years old. Accompanied by her father, she arrived at
Dakshineswar,
having come on foot the distance of eighty miles. She had had an attack
of
fever on the way. When she arrived at the temple garden the Master said
sorrowfully: "Ah! You have come too late. My Mathur is no longer here
to
look after you." Mathur had passed away the previous year.
The Master took up the duty of instructing his young wife, and this
included everything from housekeeping to the Knowledge of Brahman. He
taught her how to trim a lamp, how to behave toward people according to
their differing temperaments, and how to conduct herself before
visitors. He
instructed her in the mysteries of spiritual life — prayer, meditation,
japa,
deep contemplation, and samadhi. The first lesson that Sarada Devi
received
was: "God is everybody's Beloved, just as the moon is dear to every
child.
Everyone has the same right to pray to Him. Out of His grace He reveals
Himself to all who call upon Him. You too will see Him if you but pray
to Him."
Totapuri, coming to know of the Master's marriage, had once remarked:
"What does it matter? He alone is firmly established in the Knowledge
of
Brahman who can adhere to his spirit of discrimination and renunciation
even while living with his wife. He alone has attained the supreme
illumination
who can look on man and woman alike as Brahman. A man with the
idea of sex may be a good aspirant, but he is still far from the goal."
Sri
Ramakrishna and his wife lived together at Dakshineswar, but their
minds
always soared above the worldly plane. A few months after Sarada Devi's
arrival Sri Ramakrishna arranged, on an auspicious day, a special
worship
of Kali, the Divine Mother. Instead of an image of the Deity, he placed
on
the seat the living image, Sarada Devi herself. The worshipper and the
worshipped went into deep samadhi and in the transcendental plane their
souls were united. After several hours Sri Ramakrishna came down again
to the relative plane, sang a hymn to the Great Goddess, and
surrendered,
at the feet of the living image, himself, his rosary, and the fruit of
his
life-long sadhana. This is known in Tantra as the Shorasi Puja, the
"Adoration
of Woman". Sri Ramakrishna realized the significance of the great
statement
of the Upanishad: "O Lord, Thou art the woman. Thou art the man; Thou
art the boy. Thou art the girl; Thou art the old, tottering on their
crutches.
Thou pervadest the universe in its multiple forms."
By his marriage Sri Ramakrishna admitted the great value of marriage in
man's spiritual evolution, and by adhering to his monastic vows he
demonstrated
the imperative necessity of self-control, purity, and continence, in
the realization of God. By this unique spiritual relationship with his
wife he
proved that husband and wife can live together as spiritual companions.
Thus his life is a synthesis of the ways of life of the householder and
the monk.