Master moved to Cossipore — Predicting his passing away — The coming of devotees — Master's love for devotees — Significance of the Master's illness — Different classes of devotees — The great visions — Five suppliers of the Master's needs — Master's foreseeing of the coming of devotees — Master and Narendra — Narendra's yearning for God — His intense dispassion — Devotees' detachment from the world — Brahman is beyond the gunas — Brahman and maya — Wicked ego and spiritualized ego — No liberation for Divine Incarnations — Master's great suffering — His vision of unity — Master about himself — Master teaches Narendra Brahmajnana — "Ego of Knowledge" — Narendra and M.
Wednesday December 23, 1885
ON FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, Sri Ramakrishna was moved to a
beautiful
house at Cossipore, a suburb of Calcutta. The house was situated in
a garden covering about five acres of land and abounding in fruit-trees
and flowering plants. Here the final curtain fell on the Master's life.
At Cossipore he set himself with redoubled energy to the completion of
the work of spiritual ministration he had begun long before at
Dakshineswar.
Realizing that the end of his physical life was approaching, he gave
away
his spiritual treasures without stint to one and all. He was like one
of those
fruit-sellers who bring their fruit to the market-place, bargain at
first about
the prices, but then toward sunset, when the market is about to close,
give
away the fruit indiscriminately. Here his disciples saw the greatest
manifestation
of his spiritual powers. Here they saw the fulfilment of his prophecies
about his own end: "I shall make the whole thing public before I go."
"When people in large numbers come to know and whisper about the
greatness
of this body, then the Mother will take it back." "The devotees will be
sifted into inner and outer circles toward the end." And so on. Here he
predicted that a band of young disciples, with Narendranath as their
leader,
would in due course renounce the world and devote themselves to the
realization of God and the service of humanity.
The main building at Cossipore had two storeys, with three rooms below
and two above. The Master occupied the central hall of the upper
storey; a
small room to the left was used at night by his attendants. To the
right of
the hall was an open balcony where Sri Ramakrishna sometimes sat or
walked. On the ground floor, a hall just below the Master's and a small
room
to the right of it were used by the devotees, and a small room to the
extreme
left was occupied by the Holy Mother. In the garden compound were some
outbuildings, two reservoirs, and pleasant walks. Sri Ramakrishna
breathed
more freely in the open air of the new place.
Almost all the devotees had gathered by this time. They had started
coming to him in 1881. By the end of 1884 Sarat and Sashi had become
known
to the Master, and since their college examinations in the middle, of
1885
they had been visiting him almost daily. Girish Ghosh had first met the
Master in September 1884 at the Star Theatre. Since the beginning of
the
following December he had been a constant visitor. And it was during
the
latter part of December 1884 that Sarada Prasanna first visited the
Master
at the Dakshineswar temple. Subodh and Kshirode first visited him in
August 1885.
The young devotees had taken up their quarters at the garden house to
tend Sri Ramakrishna, although many of them visited their own homes
every now and then. The householders came to see the Master almost
every
day, and some of them occasionally spent the night.
On the morning of December 23 Sri Ramakrishna gave unrestrained
expression to his love for the devotees. He said to Niranjan, "You are
my father:
I shall sit on your lap." Touching Kalipada's chest, he said, "May your
inner
spirit be awakened!" He stroked Kalipada's chin affectionately and
said,
"Whoever has sincerely called on God or performed his daily religious
devotions will certainly come here." In the morning two ladies received
his
special blessing. In a state of samadhi he touched their hearts with
his feet.
They shed tears of joy. One of them said to him, weeping, "You are so
kind!" His love this day really broke all bounds. He wanted to bless
Gopal
of Sinthi and said to a devotee, "Bring Gopal here."
It was evening. Sri Ramakrishna was absorbed in contemplation of the
Mother of the Universe. After a while he began to talk very softly with
some
of the devotees. Kali, Chunilal, M., Navagopal, Sashi, Niranjan, and a
few
others were present.
MASTER (to M.): "Buy a stool for me. What will it
cost?"
M: "Between two and three rupees."
MASTER: "If a small wooden seat costs only twelve annas, why should you
have to pay so much for a stool?"
M: "Perhaps it won't cost so much."
MASTER: "Tomorrow is Thursday. The latter part of the afternoon is
inauspicious. Can't you come before three o'clock?"
M: "Yes, sir. I shall."
MASTER: "Well, can you tell how long it will take me to recover from
this illness?"
M: "It has been aggravated a little and will take some days."
MASTER: "How long?"
M: "Perhaps five to six months."
Hearing this, Sri Ramakrishna became impatient, like a child, and said:
"So long? What do you mean?"
M: "I mean, sir, for complete recovery."
MASTER: "Oh, that! I am relieved. Can you explain one thing? How is it
that in spite of all these visions, all this ecstasy and samadhi, I am
so ill?"
M: "Your suffering is no doubt great; but it has a deep meaning."
MASTER: "What is it?"
M: "A change is coming over your mind. It is being directed toward the
formless aspect of God. Even your 'ego of Knowledge' is vanishing."
MASTER: "That is true. My teaching of others is coming to an end. I
cannot give any more instruction. I see that everything is Rama
Himself. And
sometimes I say to myself, 'Whom shall I teach?' You see, because I am
living in a rented house many kinds of devotees are coming here. I hope
I shall not have to put up a 'signboard', like Shashadhar or
Krishnaprasanna
Sen,1
announcing my lectures." (The Master and M. laugh.)
M: "There is yet another purpose in this illness. It is the final
sifting of
disciples. The devotees have achieved in these few days what they could
not
have realized by five years' tapasya. Their love and devotion are
growing by
leaps and bounds."
MASTER: "That may be true; but Niranjan went back home. (To
Niranjan) Please tell me how you feel."
NIRANJAN: "Formerly I loved you, no doubt, but now it is impossible for
me to live without you."
M: "One day I found out how great these young men were."
MASTER: "Where?"
M: "Sir, one day I stood in a corner of the house at Syampukur and
watched the devotees. I clearly saw that every one of them had made his
way here through almost insurmountable obstacles and given himself over
to your service."
As Sri Ramakrishna listened to these words he became abstracted. He was
silent a few moments. Presently he went into samadhi.
Regaining consciousness of the outer world, he said to M.: "I saw
everything passing from form to formlessness. I want to tell you all
the things I
saw, but I cannot. Well, this tendency of mine toward the formless is
only a
sign of my nearing dissolution. Isn't that so?"
M. (wonderingly): "It may be."
MASTER: "Even now I am seeing the Formless Indivisible Satchidananda —
just like that. . . . But I have suppressed my feelings with great
difficulty.
"What you said about the sifting of disciples was right: this illness
is
showing who belong to the inner circle and who to the outer. Those who
are
living here, renouncing the world, belong to the inner circle; and
those who
pay occasional visits and ask, 'How are you, sir?' belong to the outer
circle.
"Didn't you notice Bhavanath? The other day he came to Syampukur
dressed as a bridegroom and asked me, 'How are you?' I haven't seen him
since. I show him love for Narendra's sake, but he is not in my thought
any more.
(To M.) "When God assumes a human body for the sake
of His devotees,
many of His devotees accompany Him to this earth. Some of them belong
to the inner circle, some to the outer circle, and some become the
suppliers
of His physical needs.
"I experienced one of my first ecstasies when I was ten or eleven years
old,
as I was going through a meadow to the shrine of Visalakshi. What a
vision!
I became completely unconscious of the outer world.
"I was twenty-two or twenty-three when the Divine Mother one day
asked me in the Kali temple, 'Do you want to be Akshara?'
I didn't know
what the word meant. I asked Haladhari about it. He said, 'Kshara
means
jiva, living being; Akshara means Paramatman,
the Supreme Soul.'
"At the hour of the evening worship in the Kali temple I would climb to
the roof of the kuthi and cry out: 'O devotees, where are you all? Come
to
me soon! I shall die of the company of worldly people!' I told all this
to the
'Englishmen'. They said it was all an illusion of my mind. 'Perhaps it
is', I
said to myself, and became calm. But now it is all coming true; the
devotees
are coming.
"The Divine Mother also showed me in a vision the five suppliers of my
needs; first, Mathur Babu, and second, Sambhu Mallick, whom I had not
then met. I had a vision of a fair-skinned man with a cap on his head.
Many
days later, when I first met Sambhu, I recalled that vision; I realized
that it
was he whom I had seen in that ecstatic state. I haven't yet found out
the
three other suppliers of my wants. But they were all of a fair
complexion.
Surendra looks like one of them.
"When I attained this state of God-Consciousness, a person exactly
resembling myself thoroughly shook my Ida, Pingala, and Sushumna
nerves.
He licked with his tongue each of the lotuses of the six centres, and
those
drooping lotuses at once turned their faces upward. And at last the
Sahasrara
lotus became full-blown.
"The Divine Mother used to reveal to me the nature of the devotees
before their coming. I saw with these two eyes — not in a trance — the
kirtan
party of Chaitanya going from the banyan-tree to the bakul-tree in the
Panchavati. I saw Balaram in the procession and also, I think, yourself
[meaning M.]. Chuni's spiritual consciousness and yours, too, have been
awakened by frequent visits to me. In a vision I saw that Sashi and
Sarat
had been among the followers of Christ.
"Under the banyan-tree in the Panchavati I had a vision of a child.
Hriday said to me, 'Then a son will soon be born to you.' I said to
him:
'But I regard all women as mother. How can I have a son?' That child is
Rakhal.
"I said to the Divine Mother, 'O Mother, since You have placed me in
this condition, provide me with a rich man.' That is why Mathur served
me
for fourteen years.(From 1858 to 1871.) And in how many different ways!
At my request he
arranged a special store-room for the sadhus. He provided me with
carriage
and palanquin. And whatever I asked him to give to anyone, he gave. The
Brahmani2
identified him with Prataprudra.3
"Vijay had a vision of this form [meaning himself]. How do you account
for it? Vijay said to me, 'I touched it exactly as I am touching you
now.'
"Latu counted thirty-one devotees in all. That's not many. But a few
more are becoming devotees through Vijay and Kedar.
"It was revealed to me in a vision that during my last days I should
have
to live on pudding. During my present illness my wife was one day
feeding
me with pudding. I burst into tears and said, 'Is this my living on
pudding
near the end, and so painfully?'"
Monday, January 4, 1886
It was the fourteenth day of the dark fortnight of the moon.
At four
o'clock in the afternoon Sri Ramakrishna was sitting in his room. He
told M.
that Ram Chatterji had come from the Kali temple at Dakshineswar to
inquire about his health. He asked M. whether it was now very cold at
the
temple garden.
Narendra arrived. Now and then the Master looked at him and smiled.
It appeared to M. that that day the Master's love for his beloved
disciple
was boundless. He indicated to M. by a sign that Narendra had wept.
Then
he remained quiet. Again he indicated that Narendra had cried all the
way from home.
No one spoke. Narendra broke the silence.
NARENDRA: "I have been thinking of going there today."
MASTER: "Where?"
NARENDRA: "To Dakshineswar. I intend to light a fire under the bel-tree
and meditate."
MASTER: "No, the authorities of the powder-magazine will not allow it.
The, Panchavati is a nice place. Many sadhus have practised japa and
meditation there. But it is very cold there. The place is dark, too."
Again for a few moments all sat in silence.
MASTER (to Narendra, smiling): "Won't you continue
your studies?"
NARENDRA (looking at the Master and M.): "I shall
feel greatly relieved
if I find a medicine that will make me forget all I have studied."
The elder Copal, who was also in the room, said, "I shall accompany
Narendra."
Kalipada Ghosh had brought a box of grapes for Sri Ramakrishna; it
lay beside the Master. The Master gave Narendra a few and poured the
rest
on the floor for the devotees to pick up.
It was evening. Narendra was sitting in a room downstairs. He was
smoking and describing to M. the yearning of his soul. No one else was
with them.
NARENDRA: "I was meditating here last Saturday when suddenly I felt a
peculiar sensation in my heart."
M: "It was the awakening of the Kundalini."
NARENDRA: "Probably it was. I clearly perceived the Ida and the Pingala
nerves. I asked Hazra to feel my chest. Yesterday I saw him [meaning
the
Master] upstairs and told him about it. I said to him: 'All the others
have
had their realization; please give me some. All have succeeded; shall I
alone remain unsatisfied?'"
M: "What did he say to you?"
NARENDRA: "He said: 'Why don't you settle your family affairs first and
then come to me? You will get everything. What do you want?' I replied,
'It is my desire to remain absorbed in samadhi continually for three or
four
days, only once in a while coming down to the sense plane to eat a
little
food,' Thereupon he said to me: 'You are a very small-minded person.
There
is a State higher even than that. "All that exists art Thou" — it is
you who
sing that song.'"
M: "Yes, he always says that after coming down from samadhi one sees
that it is God Himself who has become the universe, the living beings,
and
all that exists. The Isvarakotis alone can attain that state. An
ordinary man
can at the most attain samadhi; but he cannot come down from that
state."
NARENDRA: "He [the Master] said: 'Settle your family affairs and then
come to me. You will attain a state higher than samadhi.' I went home
this
morning. My people scolded me, saying: 'Why do you wander about like a
vagabond? Your law examination is near at hand and you are not paying
any attention to your studies. You wander about aimlessly.'"
M: "Did your mother say anything?"
NARENDRA: "No. She was very eager to feed me. She gave me venison. I
ate a little, though I didn't feel like eating meat."
M: "And then?"
NARENDRA: "I went to my study at my grandmother's. As I tried to read
I was seized with a great fear, as if studying were a terrible thing.
My heart
struggled within me. I burst into tears: I never wept so bitterly in my
life.
I left my books and ran away. I ran along the streets. My shoes slipped
from
my feet — I didn't know where. I ran past a haystack and got hay all
over
me. I kept on running along the road to Cossipore."
Narendra remained silent a few minutes and then resumed.
NARENDRA: "Since reading the Vivekachudamani I have
felt very much
depressed. In it Sankaracharya says that only through great tapasya and
good fortune does one acquire these three things: a human birth, the
desire
for liberation, and refuge with a great soul. I said to myself: 'I have
surely
gained all these three. As a result of great tapasya I have been born a
human
being; through great tapasya, again, I have the desire for liberation;
and
through great tapasya I have secured the companionship of such a great
soul.'"
M: "Ah!"
NARENDRA: "I have no more taste for the world. I do not relish the
company of those who live in the world — of course, with the exception
of one or two devotees."
Narendra became silent again. A fire of intense renunciation was
burning
within him. His soul was restless tor the vision of God. He resumed the
conversation.
NARENDRA (to M.): "You have found peace, but my soul
is restless. You
are blessed indeed."
M. did not reply, but sat in silence. He said to himself, "Sri
Ramakrishna
said that one must pant and pine for God; only then may one have the
vision of Him."
Immediately after dusk M. went upstairs. He found Sri Ramakrishna
asleep.
It was about nine o'clock in the evening. Niranjan and Sashi were
sitting
near the Master. He was awake. Every now and then he talked of Narendra.
MASTER: "How wonderful Narendra's state of mind is! You see, this very
Narendra did not believe in the forms of God. And now you see how his
soul is panting for God! You know that story of the man who asked his
guru how God could be realized. The guru said to him: 'Come with me. I
shall show you how one can realize God.' Saying this, he took the
disciple
to a lake and held his head under the water. After a short time he
released
the disciple and asked him, 'How did you feel?' 'I was dying for a
breath of
air!' said the disciple.
"When the soul longs and yearns for God like that, then you will know
that you do not have long to wait for His vision. The rosy colour on
the
eastern horizon shows that the sun will soon rise."
This day Sri Ramakrishna's illness was worse. In spite of much
suffering
he said many things about Narendra — though mostly by means of signs.
At night Narendra left for Dakshineswar. It was very dark, being the
night of the new moon. He was accompanied by one or two devotees. M.
spent the night at the Cossipore garden. He dreamt that he was seated
in an
assembly of sannyasis.
Tuesday, January 5, 1886
Thursday, March 11, 1886
It was eight o'clock in the evening. Sri Ramakrishna was in
the big hall
on the second floor. Narendra, Sashi, M., Sarat, and the elder Gopal
were
in the room. Sri Ramakrishna was lying down. Sarat stood by his bed and
fanned him. The Master was speaking about his illness.
MASTER: "If some of you go to Dakshineswar and see Bholanath, he will
give you a medicinal oil and also tell you how to apply it."
THE ELDER GOPAL: "Then we shall
go for the oil tomorrow morning."
M: "If someone goes this evening he can bring the oil."
SASHI: "I can go."
MASTER (pointing to Sarat): "He may go."
After a time Sarat set out for Dakshineswar to get the oil from
Bholanath.
The devotees, sitting around Sri Ramakrishna's bed, were silent.
Suddenly the Master sat up. He spoke to Narendranath.
MASTER: "Brahman is without taint. The three gunas are in Brahman,
but It is Itself untainted by them.
"You may find both good and bad smells in the air; but the air itself
is unaffected.
"Sankaracharya was going along a street in Benares. An outcaste
carrying
a load of meat suddenly touched him. 'What!' said Sankara. 'You have
touched me!' 'Revered sir,' said the outcaste, 'I have not touched you
nor
have you touched me. The Atman is above all contamination, and you are
that Pure Atman.'
"Of Brahman and maya, the jnani rejects maya.
"Maya is like a veil. You see, I hold this towel between you and the
lamp.
You no longer see the light of the lamp."
Sri Ramakrishna put the towel between himself and the devotees.
MASTER: "Now you cannot see my face any more. As Ramprasad said,
'Raise the curtain, and behold!'
"The bhakta, however, does not ignore maya. He worships Mahamaya.
Taking refuge in Her, he says: 'O Mother, please stand aside from my
path. Only if You step out of my way shall I have the Knowledge of
Brahman.' The jnanis explain away all three states — waking, dream, and
deep
sleep. But the bhaktas accept them all. As long as there is the ego,
everything else exists. So long as the 'I' exists, the bhakta sees that
it is God who
has become maya, the universe, the living beings, and the twenty-four
cosmic principles."
Narendra and the other devotees sat silently listening.
MASTER: "But the theory of maya is dry. (To Narendra)
Repeat what
I said."
NARENDRA: "Maya is dry."
Sri Ramakrishna affectionately stroked Narendra's face and hands, and
said: "Your face and hands show that you are a bhakta. But the jnani
has
different features; they are dry.
"Even after attaining jnana, the jnani can live in the world, retaining
vidyamaya, that is to say, bhakti, compassion, renunciation, and such
virtues.
This serves him two purposes: first, the teaching of men, and second,
the
enjoyment of divine bliss. If a jnani remains silent, merged in
samadhi,
then men's hearts will not be illumined. Therefore Sankaracharya kept
the
'ego of Knowledge'. And further, a jnani lives as a devotee, in the
company
of bhaktas, in order to enjoy and drink deep of the Bliss of God.
"The 'ego of Knowledge' and the 'ego of Devotion' can do no harm; it is
the 'wicked I' that is harmful. After realizing God a man becomes like
a
child. There is no harm in the 'ego of a child'. It is like the
reflection of a
face in a mirror: the reflection cannot call names. Or it is like a
burnt rope,
which appears to be a rope but disappears at the slightest puff. The
ego
that has been burnt in the fire of Knowledge cannot injure anybody. It
is an
ego only in name.
"Returning to the relative plane after reaching the Absolute is like
coming back to this shore of a river after going to the other side.
Such a return
to the relative plane is for the teaching of men and for enjoyment —
participation in the divine sport in the world."
Sri Ramakrishna was talking in a very low voice. Addressing the
devotees,
he said: "The body is so ill, but the mind is free from avidyamaya. Let
me
tell you, there is no thought in my mind of Ramlal or home or wife. But
I
have been worrying about Purna, that kayastha boy. I am not in the
least
anxious about the others.
"It is God alone who has kept this vidyamaya in me, for the good of
men,
for the welfare of the devotees.
"But if one retains vidyamaya one comes back to this world. The Avatars
keep this vidyamaya. So long as a man has even the slightest desire, he
must
be born again and again. When he gets rid of all desires, then he is
liberated. But the bhaktas do not seek liberation.
"If a person dies in Benares he attains liberation; he is not born
again.
Liberation is the goal of the jnanis."
NARENDRA: "The other day we went to visit Mahimacharan."
MASTER (smiling): "Well?"
NARENDRA: "I have never before met such a dry jnani."
MASTER (smiling): "What was the matter?"
NARENDRA: "He asked us to sing. Gangadhar sang:
Radha is restored to life by hearing her Krishna's name.
She looks about; in front of her she sees a tamala tree.
"On hearing this song, Mahimacharan said: 'Why such songs
here? I
don't care for love and all that nonsense. Besides, I live here with my
wife
and children. Why all these songs here?'"
MASTER (to M.): "Do you see how afraid he is?"
Sunday, March 14, 1886
Monday, March 15, 1886
About seven o'clock in the morning Sri Ramakrishna felt a
little better.
He talked to the devotees, sometimes in a whisper, sometimes by signs.
Narendra, Rakhal, Latu, M., Gopal of Sinthi, and others were in the
room.
They sat speechless and looked grave, thinking of the Master's
suffering of
the previous night.
MASTER (to the devotees): "Do you know what I see
right now? I see
that it is God Himself who has become all this. It seems to me that men
and other living beings are made of leather, and that it is God Himself
who,
dwelling inside these leather cases, moves the hands, the feet, the
heads. I
had a similar vision once before, when I saw houses, gardens, roads,
men,
cattle — all made of One Substance; it was as if they were all made of
wax.
"I see that it is God Himself who has become the block, the
executioner,
and the victim for the sacrifice."
As he describes this staggering experience, in which he realizes in
full the
identity of all within the One Being, he is overwhelmed with emotion
and
exclaims, "Ah! What a vision!"
Immediately Sri Ramakrishna goes into samadhi. He completely forgets
his body and the outer world. The devotees are bewildered. Not knowing
what to do, they sit still.
Presently the Master regains partial consciousness of the world and
says:
"Now I have no pain at all. I am my old self again."
The devotees are amazed to watch this state of the Master, beyond
pleasure and pain, weal and woe.
He casts his glance on Latu and says: "There is Loto. He bends his
head,
resting it on the palm of his hand. I see that it is God Himself who
rests
His head on His hand."
Sri Ramakrishna looks at the devotees and his love for them wells up in
a thousand streams. Like a mother showing her tenderness to her
children
he touches the faces and chins of Rakhal and Narendra.
A few minutes later he says to M., "If the body were to be preserved a
few days more, many people would have their spirituality awakened."
He pauses a few minutes.
"But this is not to be. This time the body will not be preserved."
The devotees eagerly await the Master's next words.
"Such is not the will of God. This time the body will not be preserved,
lest, finding me guileless and foolish, people should take advantage of
me,
and lest I, guileless and foolish as I am, should give away everything
to
everybody. In this Kaliyuga, you see, people are averse to meditation
and
japa."
RAKHAL (tenderly): "Please speak to God that He may
preserve your
body some time more."
MASTER: "That depends on God's will."
NARENDRA: "Your will and God's will have become one."
Sri Ramakrishna remains silent. He appears to be thinking about
something.
MASTER (to Narendra, Rakhal, and the others): "And
nothing will
happen if I speak to God. Now I see that I and the Mother have become
one. For fear of her sister-in-law, Radha said to Krishna, 'Please
dwell in my
heart.' But when, later on; she became very eager for a vision of
Krishna —
so eager that her heart pined and panted for her Beloved — He would not
come out."
RAKHAL (in a low voice, to the devotees): "He is
referring to God's
Incarnation as Gauranga."5
The devotees sit silently in the room. Sri Ramakrishna looks at them
tenderly. Then he places his hand on his heart. He is about to speak.
MASTER (to Narendra and the others): "There are two
persons in this.
One, the Divine Mother—"
He pauses. The devotees eagerly look at him to hear what he will say
next.
MASTER: "Yes, one is She. And the other is Her devotee. It is the
devotee
who broke his arm, and it is the devotee who is now ill. Do you
understand?"
The devotees sit without uttering a word.
MASTER: "Alas! To whom shall I say all this? Who will understand me?"
Pausing a few moments, He says:
"God becomes man, an Avatar, and comes to earth with His devotees. And
the devotees leave the world with Him."
RAKHAL: "Therefore we pray that you may not go away and leave us
behind."
Sri Ramakrishna smiles and says:
"A band of minstrels suddenly appears, dances, and sings, and it
departs
in the same sudden manner. They come and they return, but none
recognizes them."
The Master and the devotees smile.
After a few minutes he says:
"Suffering is inevitable when one assumes a human body.
"Every now and then I say to myself, 'May I not have to come back to
earth again!' But there is something else. After enjoying sumptuous
feasts
outside, one does not relish cheap home cooking.
"Besides, this assuming of a human body is for the sake of the
devotees."
Sri Ramakrishna looks at Narendra very tenderly.
MASTER (to Narendra): "An outcaste was carrying a
load of meat.
Sankaracharya, after bathing in the Ganges, was passing by. Suddenly
the
outcaste touched him. Sankara said sharply: 'What! You touched me!'
'Revered sir,' he replied, 'I have not touched you nor have you touched
me.
Reason with me: Are you the body, the mind, or the buddhi? Analyse what
you are. You are the Pure Atman, unattached and free, unaffected by the
three gunas — sattva, rajas, and tamas.'
"Do you know what Brahman is like? It is like air. Good and bad smells
are carried by the air, but the air itself is unaffected."
NARENDRA: "Yes, sir."
MASTER: "He is beyond the gunas and maya — beyond both the 'maya
of knowledge' and the 'maya of ignorance'. 'Woman and gold' is the
'maya
of ignorance'. Knowledge, renunciation, devotion, and other spiritual
qualities are the splendours of the 'maya of knowledge'. Sankaracharya
kept this
'maya of knowledge'; and that you and these others feel concerned about
me is also due to this 'maya of knowledge'.
"Following the 'maya of knowledge' step by step, one attains the
Knowledge of Brahman. This 'maya of knowledge' may be likened to the
last few
steps of the stairs. Next is the roof. Some, even after reaching the
roof, go
up and down the stairs; that is to say, some, even after realizing God,
retain
the 'ego of Knowledge'. They retain this in order to teach others,
taste divine
bliss, and sport with the devotees of God."
NARENDRA: "Some people get angry with me when I speak of renunciation."
MASTER (in a whisper): "Renunciation is necessary.
(Pointing to his different limbs) "If one thing is
placed upon another,
you must remove the one to get the other. Can you get the second thing
without removing the first?"
NARENDRA: "True, sir."
MASTER (in a whisper, to Narendra): "When one sees
everything filled
with God alone, does one see anything else?"
NARENDRA: "Must one renounce the world?"
MASTER: "Didn't I say just now: 'When one sees everything filled with
God alone, does one see anything else?' Does one then see any such
thing
as the world?
"I mean mental renunciation. Not one of those who have come here is a
worldly person. Some of them had a slight desire — for instance, a
fancy
for woman. (Rakhal and M. smile.) And that desire
has been fulfilled."
The Master looks at Narendra tenderly and becomes filled with love.
Looking, at the devotees, he says, "Grand!"
With a smile Narendra asks the Master, "What is grand?"
MASTER (smiling): "I see that preparations are going on for a
grand
renunciation."
Narendra and the devotees look silently at the Master. Rakhal resumes
the conversation.
RAKHAL (smiling, to the Master): "Narendra is now beginning
to
understand you rather well."
Sri Ramakrishna laughs and says: "Yes, that is so. I see that many
others,
too, are beginning to understand. (To M.) Isn't that
so?"
M: "Yes, sir."
Sri Ramakrishna turns his eyes to Narendra and M. and by a sign of his
finger draws the attention of the devotees to them. He first points out
Narendra and then M. Rakhal understands the Master's hint and says to
him with a smile, "Don't you mean that Narendra has the attitude of a
hero, and he [meaning M.] that of a handmaid of God?"
Sri Ramakrishna laughs.
NARENDRA (smiling, to Rakhal): "He [meaning M.]
doesn't talk much
and is bashful. Is that why you say he is a handmaid of God?"
MASTER (smiling, to Narendra): "Well, what do you
think of me?"
NARENDRA: "You are a hero, a handmaid of God, and everything else."
These words fill Sri Ramakrishna with divine emotion. He places his
hand
on his heart and is about to say something.
He says to Narendra and the other devotees:
"I see that all things — everything that exists — have come from this."
He asks Narendra by a sign, "What did you understand?"
NARENDRA: "All created objects have come from you."
The Master's face beams with joy. He says to Rakhal, "Did you hear
what" he said?"
Sri Ramakrishna asks Narendra to sing. Narendra intones a hymn. His
mind is full of renunciation. He sings:
Unsteady is water on the lotus petal;
Just as unsteady is the life of man.
One moment with a sadhu is the boat
That takes one across the ocean of this world. . . .
Narendra has hardly finished one or two lines, when Sri
Ramakrishna
says to him by a sign: "What are you singing? That is a very
insignificant
attitude, a very commonplace thing."
Now Narendra sings about the love of Krishna, impersonating one of
His handmaids:
How strange, O friend, are the rules of life and death!
The Youth of Braja has fled away,
And this poor maid of Braja soon will die.
Madhava is in love with other maids
More beautiful than I.
Alas! He has forgotten the milkman's artless daughter.
Who would ever have guessed, dear friend, that He,
A Lover so tender, so divine,
Could be a beggar simply for outward charm!
I was a fool not to have seen it before;
But carried away by His beauty,
I yearned alone to hold His two feet to my breast.
Now I shall drown myself in the Jamuna's stream,
Or take a draught of poison, friend!
Or I shall bind a creeper round my neck,
Or hang myself from a young tamala tree;
Or, failing all of these,
Destroy my wretched self by chanting Krishna's name.
Sri Ramakrishna and the devotees are greatly moved by the song. The Master and Rakhal shed tears of love. Narendra is intoxicated with the love of the gopis of Braja for their Sweetheart, Sri Krishna, and sings:
O Krishna! Beloved! You are mine.
What shall I say to You, O Lord?
What shall I ever say to You?
Only a woman am I,
And never fortune's favourite;
I do not know what to say.
You are the mirror for the hand,
And You are the flower for the hair.
O Friend, I shall make a flower of You
And wear You in my hair;
Under my braids I shall hide You, Friend!
No one will see You there.
You are the betel-leaf for the lips,
The sweet collyrium for the eyes;
O Friend, with You I shall stain my lips,
With You I shall paint my eyes.
You are the sandal-paste for the body;
You are the necklace for the neck.
I shall anoint myself with You,
My fragrant Sandal-paste,
And soothe my body and my soul.
I shall wear You, my lovely Necklace,
Here about my neck,
And You will lie upon my bosom,
Close to my throbbing heart.
You are the Treasure in my body;
You are the Dweller in my house.
You are to me, O Lord,
What wings are to the flying bird,
What water is to the fish.