UDBODHAN
1st February, 1912
It was about half past nine in the evening when I went to the Holy Mother. I had not seen her for the whole day
Mother: Where have you been the whole day?
Disciple: I have been busy with accounts downstairs.
Mother: Yes, Prakash told me so. Can anyone who has renounced the world relish these things? Once there was a mistake in the accounts relating to the salary of the Master. I asked him to talk to the manager of the Temple about it. But he said, "What a shame! Shall I bother myself about accounts?" Once he said to me, "He who utters the Name of God never suffers from any misery. No need to speak about you!" These are his very words. Renunciation was his ornament.
UDBODHAN
8th February, 1912
A mat used to be spread on the northern side of the room adjacent to the shrine. The Mother used to sit there often in the mornings. Sometimes she would perform Japa there facing the east. Whenever we came to talk with the Mother, we too would sit there. Today also the Mother was sitting on the mat.
Disciple: Mother, how long did you stay at Dakshineswar?
Mother: For a long time. I came when I was sixteen.
1 Since then, I was always there. Occasionally, I would visit our village-home, as when I did to attend the wedding of Ramlal. I would go there every two or three years.
Disciple: Were you alone at any time?
Mother: Yes, on some occasions. My mother-in-law would be there at other times. Sometimes Golap, Gaurdasi and others would stay with me. We cooked, lived and ate all in that tiny room.
I used to cook for the Master. He had poor digestion. So he could not eat the food offerings from the Kali temple. I had to cook also for the devotees of the Master. Latu lived with
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1 Actually eighteen. Her first visit to Dakshineswar was in March 1872.