of cream. Then soup had to be prepared for him. He used to take his food at the Nahabat as long as his mother lived. After her death, however, he used to dine in his living room. On the days male disciples were not present, the Mother would rub the Master's body with oil before his bath. The Master asked Golap-Didi one day to bring his meals to his room. From that day Golap-Didi carried the Master's meals everyday. Thus the Mother was deprived of her only opportunity of seeing the Master daily. Golap-Didi used to spend long hours in the evening with the Master, and some days she didn't return to the Nahabat even by ten o'clock. The Mother had to keep an eye on Golap-Didi's food on the verandah of the Nahabat and was, therefore, experiencing inconvenience. One day the Master heard her saying, "Let this food be eaten by a dog or a cat. I can't look after it any more." The next day the Master said to Golap-Didi, "You spend a long time here. That inconveniences her; for she has to keep watch over your food." "No," Golap-Didi said, "The Mother loves me very much and calls me by my first name, as if I were her own daughter." Though Golap-Didi could not understand that the Mother was hurt because she was being prevented from coming to the Master, the latter could understand it.
One day Golap-Didi said to her, "Mother, Manmohan's mother says, 'The Master is a man of such great renunciation and yet, the Holy Mother wears ear-rings and other ornaments. Does it look well?'"
The next morning when I visited Dakshineswar, I noticed that the Mother had only a pair of gold bracelets on her wrists and had taken off all other ornaments. Surprised at this, I asked, "Mother, what's this?" The Mother replied, "Golap said. . . . "
After much persuasion I succeeded in making her put on the ear-rings and one or two other ordinary ornaments. But she never again put on all the ornaments she had taken off, because just after this the Master fell ill.
When the Mother first came to Dakshineswar she didn't understand much about household problems, and she didn't experience trances either. Though she devotedly practised meditation and Japa every day, we didn't hear of her going into Samadhi. Rather, she even became very frightened and worried at the sight of the Master's Samadhi. For, I heard from her lips that during her first visit to Dakshineswar, the Master had asked her to stay with him