had tied two rupees in coins in the loose end of my Sari to pay the coachman with, but I had forgotten about it at that moment. As I was about to take my seat, the Mother said, "Child, you have come to take shelter in the Master who had renounced 'woman and gold'. There are two rupees tied in the loose end of your Sari. Take them out." Immediately I removed the coins, kept them on the floor near the wall and took my seat on the
asana.
It struck me that this Mother was not the same person I had seen the other day. At this thought I lost consciousness. Then and there the Mother caught hold of my hand and made me sit upright on the
asana. Placing her hand on my head she uttered thrice in a sweet voice the assuring words, "Don't be afraid." She added, "Have no fear; now you have been reborn. I am assuming the fruits of all the deeds of your past lives. Now you are pure; you are free of sin." Then I regained my normal state and the Mother gave me initiation.
I asked her, "Is there any Mantra prescribed for giving up the fruits of Japa?" The Mother said, "Don't say 'Giving up the fruits of Japa'; say 'offering the fruits of Japa.' " She placed in my hand a little Prasada of sweets and said, " after initiation one should not stay with one's Guru for long. So go home today, and come tomorrow and take your noon-meal here." I returned home after saluting her. The next day I went to the Mother's house at noon and had Prasada. After the meal was finished I came and sat near her. She asked me, "Do you know how to read and write? Read a small portion of the Gita daily and also
Kathamrita of the Master and
Sri Sri Ramakrishna Punthi. Many other books about the Master have also been published. Read them."
I said, "Mother, you certainly know that I cannot give my mind to domestic affairs at all and with what difficulty I live among worldly people. I pray to you, please don't keep me in the midst of worldly people." The Mother said, "Child, what is worldly life to you? For you worldly life is as good as living under a tree. But is life in the world separate from God? He is everywhere. Besides, you are a woman; where will you go, dear? Be content with wherever and in whatever situation He places you. The goal is to call upon Him and to attain to Him. If you call upon Him, He will lead you by the hand. You will have no fear if you can depend on Him. Another point - it is not wise that a Guru and his disciple live together, for while living together a disciple