They said, "What's her caste?" The Mother replied, "I shall not disclose this-they are devotees, they belong to one caste." The Mother's words made me beside myself with joy; I couldn't utter anything.
On a Kalipuja day I went to see the Holy Mother in the evening. The Mother's house was very crowded on that day. On my way I bought five
champak flowers for fifty paise. With much difficulty I could offer those flowers at the holy feet of the Mother. She said, "Today there is a big crowd. You need not stay here. See Sudhira and then go to Gourdasi's place and talk with her before you return home." I was quite surprised at these words of the Mother. Never before had I received such instructions from her. I asked, "Should I go in a carriage or should I go on foot? Should anyone accompany me or should I go alone?" The Mother said, "Walk the distance and go alone. Will you remain a minor for ever? Now go, and come again later."
Then taking the Mother's name I went out at once without any further consideration. Inquiring of passers-by, I reached easily the school, of which Sudhira-Didi was the headmistress. She was quite surprised to see me and asked, "How could you come here in the dark? Why have you come?" I replied, "I don't know the purpose of my visit. I have come because the Mother asked me." On hearing this, Sudhira-Didi called the resident girls of her school, saying, "Stop your studies and come here. Kshirode-Didi has come from Mother's place. Come and see her."
All the girls came and surrounded me. But I wanted to leave and so I said, "As the Mother has directed, I must leave for the Saradeswari Ashrama just now." Sudhira-Didi asked, "Should you go alone?" I replied, "The Mother's direction was that I should go alone."
I set out. As soon as I started walking, a gentleman came out from a room to the rear of the girls' boarding house and followed me. That an unfamiliar man was accompanying me made my heart palpitate. Gauri-Ma was of such a strict nature that she was likely to scold me on seeing an unknown man with me. But I didn't speak with him. On arriving at the gate of the Saradeswari Ashrama I said to the gateman, "Call Ma-ji.
1 Tell her that a
—————
1 Gauri-Ma was respectfully called Ma-ji.