But she said, "You will not be able to avoid them. Whenever you handle meat and fish, you will have eruptions on your hand, but as soon as the Master's Charanamrita is applied, you will get cured." It was a matter of pleasant surprise that the day on which I dipped my hand in the Charanamrita-from the very next day I got permanently cured. Whenever I touched fish, meat or such other food, I got eruptions on my hand, but they disappeared in an hour's time after applying Charanamrita on them. When I had become cured of this disease, I said to her, "Mother, I haven't come to you to get my bodily ailments cured. You can't get rid of me as easily as this!" The Mother laughed and said, "Child, your body is also my body. I suffer if you do not keep good health."
It was my resolve that I would never ask verbally or even mentally for any physical comfort or monetary or other material gain. I was afraid that the Mother might appease me by bestowing those things. Whenever I complained that I could not get any result from my worship, the Mother used to say, "I am your Guru; I know whether you are making progress or not. How can you understand it? You'll achieve everything, you'll achieve everything. Most obstacles in worship are not external; they are internal. They will gradually fall off one after another by taking the Master's name and by meditation. Do your duty. Don't pay attention to whether the blemishes of the mind are persisting or not." She also used to say, "The branch of a coconut tree drops off by itself at the proper time, but one has to exert much to tear off the branch before the proper time arrives. Likewise, everything will come about at the proper time." Then I asked her as to why I could not become absorbed in japa and meditation. She said, "You are doing all that is necessary; everything is going all right. My child, it is a great good fortune for you to have come here a widow at a tender age. You won't have to do much. All that you have to do is to pay obeisance to God at the end of the day. If a man firmly takes hold of one idea, he doesn't have to perform any other discipline. You will achieve everything spontaneously."
I was married when I was ten, and became a widow at fifteen. Taking refuge at the holy feet of the Mother, I had said to her, "Mother, I am surrendering myself at your holy feet. Kindly protect me." The Mother had assured me, saying, "There is nothing to fear. The Master will lead you by the hand." Not a single word which came from her lips proved to be untrue. Now I