select flowers. A few days ago Revered Swami Premananda Maharaj had passed away. That year Durga Puja was suspended at the Belur Math. Durga Puja was, however, being held at the monastery at Varanasi. I approached the Mother and worshipped her. As her eyes fell on me, she lamented, saying, "Ah" you look very much pulled down, my child!" She then mourned for Premananda Maharaj, too. She continued, "You should leave for Varanasi this very night. Some Sannyasins and Brahmacharins of this place are going to Varanasi. Your health is very much run down. Stay at Varanasi for about a month." I said, "What's the use of going there? I love to stay here." The Mother said, "What do you say? Varanasi is the abode of Lord Visvanath." I said, "This is the abode of Annapurna." The Mother laughed and said, "Nevertheless, you will come round, if you stay there for some days."
I had brought with me some pickle of tamarind from my native place for presenting to the Mother. Seeing a big crowd at the Mother's house, I wondered where I should place it and whether it could be of any use to the Mother. The Mother, the Indwelling Spirit of my being, called Golap-Ma and said, "Keep this pickle with care. I shall take it later. Give my daughter some fruits for her consumption during her journey." I received them. We left for Varanasi.
Varanasi was in the grip of a virulent kind of influenza at the time. As soon as the monks there saw me, they said to me, "Now the attack of influenza is so devastating here that you, instead of regaining your health, are very likely to contract influenza and suffer." I kept quiet thinking, come what may, I shall stay here; for I have come on the advice of the Mother. Nalini-Didi and a few others, who had accompanied me, left Varanasi just after the Puja, but I continued to stay there. I stayed in the Rana Mahal. Some days later I contracted influenza. Then the monks helped me much by sending a physician for me and providing medicines. One day I saw the Mother appear before me in a dream. She said, "There's nothing to fear. I am here. I shall take care of you." Next day my illness took a turn for the better, and I came round in a few days' time. As soon as I had completed one month in Varanasi, I returned to Calcutta. On seeing me, the Mother said smilingly, "It's a relief to me, dear. I sent you to Varanasi for your good, but the illness you contracted there was about to harm you."