walked with me some distance from her house and stood gazing with her eyes full of tears.
Once I stayed in Calcutta for three weeks. I went to the Holy Mother's house at Baghbazar. After making obeisance at her feet, I said, "Mother, I shall be in Calcutta for a few days. A rule has been introduced here permitting people to see you only twice a week. If you kindly permit me, I shall come to see you now and then." The Mother replied, "Certainly. Come whenever you can and inform me."
During this period, one day I approached her, and said, "Mother, I do not find peace of mind. My mind remains agitated all the time. I am not free from desires." On hearing this, the Mother looked intently at me for a long time, but did not utter a word. Her look of distress brought me remorse. I wondered why I should have told her these things. Taking the dust of her feet, I bade her farewell and went to Master Mahasaya's residence in Guruprasad Chowdhury Lane. I saluted him and said, "You massaged the Master's feet many a time. Kindly stroke my head a little; for I feel greatly agitated." Master Mahasaya replied, "What's this? You are the Mother's son; she loves you dearly. Why should you seek consolation from me? Didn't the Mother cast her benign glance upon you?" "Oh yes, she looked at me for a while," I replied. Thereupon Master Mahasaya said: "What more do you need? 'If Shyama casts her glance on a man, he swims in Eternal Bliss.'" He emphatically repeated this saying three times. Now I realized the significance of the Mother's looking at me for a while. I became quiet. It now appeared to me that the Mother had sent me to Master Mahasaya just to enable me to understand the meaning of her gracious glance.
Early one morning I went to see the Holy Mother. My wife and one of my daughters accompanied me. I told her, "Mother, my wife and daughter cannot see you often. Permit them to stay with you for the whole day. I shall come in the afternoon to take them home." The Mother agreed. My wife had not put on her forehead the vermilion mark of married women. One of the lady devotees then asked her, "Well, why do you not have a vermilion mark on your forehead?" When the Mother heard this, she said, "What does it matter, if she has not? She has such a noble husband. What if she hasn't worn the mark?" Saying so, the Mother herself put a vermilion mark on my wife's forehead.