to sleep. Seeing that, I hastily went to spread my upper cloth. While spreading, I had a peculiar feeling. Kedar's Mother and others were making all kinds of fuss. So I told them, 'O! It's nothing. While trying to thread the needle, I got dizzy'. For your sake, do I not pray to the Master about my body? I do pray. But now when I think of him for the sake of the body, by no means am I able to get his vision. I feel it is not his wish that this body should remain. Sarat is there." After my return to Koalpara I heard just the same thing from Kedar Maharaj's mother also. She must have heard it from the Mother herself.
Another day at about two in the noon, I reached Koalpara. It was quite hot. The Holy Mother brought me some sweets and water, and was talking, "Oh dear, what a heat! Cool yourself a little. You should not leave before evening. How is Gopesh? What did you eat today? What did you cook? Take some fruits and vegetables with you when you go." I said smiling, "In accordance with Gopesh-da's instructions I mixed together green. plantains, potatos and such things and cooked a potato-rice. But as I was not able to make a proper estimate, I prepared food enough for eight or ten people." Hearing this, the Holy Mother had a hearty laughter. As we chatted, the sky became overcast. The Mother said "Ah! a little rain would cool down mother earth." Moments later, strong winds blew and a hailstorm began. Enjoying that, the Holy Mother put one or two hail stones in her mouth. This sudden exposure to chill brought on her a fever, which took a very serious turn later on.
Rashbehari Maharaj and I were sitting on either side of the Holy Mother's bed one day. She placed her hand on my chest and back and said, "Ah! So many women are here, but no one's body is cool. These are boys and their bodies-how cool they are! My hand is soothed." In the travails of illness the Holy Mother used to look for Sarat Maharaj a great deal. Getting the news, Sarat Maharaj arrived there accompanied by Dr. Kanjilal and went straight to the Holy Mother. The Mother was then restless with a burning sensation all over her body and was stretching her arms this way and that. Sarat Maharaj saw that and taking off his shirt sat by her bed. The Holy Mother put her hand on his back and said "Ah, my whole body is cooled. Sarat's body is like a cool slab." Sarat Maharaj said, "Look now, Mother. All of us have come, and now you must get well." In reply the Mother said,