may see her after two weeks." I had not been aware of her illness. Swami Saradananda said to me, "Come tomorrow, you may see her then. Also take your meal here." When I went the next day, the Mother showed me the pox marks. Most of them had disappeared. Through her blessings and the arrangement made by Swami Saradananda, I was, staying at the Belur Math. On being informed of this, the Holy Mother remarked, "That's good. He has fallen a victim to the influence of monastic life. Live in the Belur Math. May you get love for the Master! You have my blessings. "
I used to take milk for the Mother now and then from the Belur Math. That would also give me the opportunity to pay my respects to her. One day, while entering her house with milk, I saw her preparing betel-rolls assisted by Nalini, her niece. Seeing me, Nalini was about to leave the room. The Mother checked her and said. "Don't go away. He is my child. Sit here." In the course of conversation, she referred to the relatives of Maku's husband (Maku was another niece), and said, "I have to take special care of them, otherwise they feel offended. But you are my children. You are satisfied with whatever I do for you. You do not mind if I cannot always show you attention. But those relatives feel very much offended if I do not give them the best of everything, or if I fail in the least in attending to them." After a while I asked her, "Mother, how does one get purity of mind and yearning for God?"
Mother: Oh! You will certainly have these. As you have taken refuge in the Master, you will achieve all. Pray to him sincerely.
Disciple: I can't do it. Please do pray for me.
Mother: I always pray to Sri Ramakrishna to make your mind pure and holy.
Disciple: Yes, Mother, I shall have everything if you but pray for me.
After a few months I was sent to Ghatal, not very far from Jayrambati, to give relief to the flood-stricken people of that place. I took leave for three days and visited the Holy Mother at Jayrambati on the occasion of the Jagaddhatri Puja. Atul was with me. This was his first visit to the Mother.We went to Jayrambati via Kamarpukur and as soon as we reached her house, Ashu Maharaj, an attendant of the Holy Mother, said, "It is nice that you have come. The Mother has been sad because of not seeing