Mother: Yes, my child.
Disciple: But, Mother, the monastic life begets a terrible vanity.
Mother: Yes, that is true. A monk may become very vain. He may think, 'See, he does not respect me. He does not bow down before me, and so on.' (
Pointing to her own white cloth).
1 One should rather live thus (meaning possessed of inner renunciation). Gaur Siromani
2 took to the monastic life in his old age when his sense-organs had become dull. Is it possible, my child, to get rid of vanity—vanity of beauty, vanity of virtue, vanity of knowledge and vanity of a holy life?
The Holy Mother exhorted me to make ready for the life of renunciation. "Go home," said she, "and tell your brothers once and for all, 'I will not accept any job; I need not be a slave for anyone, now that my mother is no more. I will not do anything of that sort. You be happy with your householder's duties.' "
The Mother and I were engaged in conversation in the evening.
Disciple: Mother, one gets spiritual realization at any time the grace of God descends on him. Then he does not have to wait for the right time.
Mother: That is true; but can the mango which ripens out of season be as sweet as the one which ripens in the month of Jaishtha that is, the proper season? Men are trying to get fruits out of season. You see, nowadays one gets mangoes and jackfruits even in the month of Asvin (autumn). But these are not as sweet those found in the proper season. This is also true of the efforts that lead to God-realization. Perhaps you practise some Japa and austerities in this life; in the next life you may intensify the spiritual mood and in the following life you advance further.
Referring to one's attaining spiritual realisation suddenly, the Mother said, "God has the nature of the child. One man does not ask for it, yet He gives it to him, whereas another man asks for it and God will not give it to him. It is all His whim."
* * * *
—————
1 The white cloth is the symbol of the householder where the monks put on ochre clothes.
2 He was an outstanding holy man of the Vaishnava sect. He visited the Holy Mother in Brindavan.