Mother: Yes, he looked like that when Rakhal and other disciples met him. At that time he had lost his former good health and complexion. For example, look at me and see my complexion and health. Did I look like this formerly? No, I was very pretty then. I was not stout, but later on I became so.
In Dakshineswar I lived very quietly and unobserved by people in general. The manager of the temple used to say, 'We have heard that she lives here, but we have never seen her.' At that time I would see the Master perhaps once in two months. I used to console my mind by saying, 'O mind, are you so fortunate that you can see him everyday?' I used to stand behind the screen round the verandah of the Nahabat, and hear the Master sing and see him dance in ecstasy through the holes in the screen. It was standing there long that brought on the rheumatism in my legs. He would tell me, 'A wild bird, if kept within a cage day and night, gets rheumatic. So you should have a walk at times in the neighbourhood.'
I would bathe at 4 a.m. As the day advanced, a little sunshine would come near the staircase, and I would dry my hair then. I had very long hair in those days. A small room, after all, in the Nahabat! And that too used to be full of things. Many things were even stored in stringed suspenders from the ceiling. But I never experienced any difficulty.
It was the time of worship. The Mother made herself ready to go to the shrine room. I came downstairs. After the worship was over, I went upstairs again to bring the Prasada for the devotees. As I took the leaves containing the sweets and fruits, suddenly my elbow touched the Holy Mother's feet. "Ah!" said the Mother, and saluted me with folded hands. "That's nothing," said I. But she was not satisfied with merely bowing down before me and said, "Come, my child, let me kiss you." She touched my chin with her hand and kissed the hand and so became pacified. Thus she used to respect her disciples as the manifestations of God, and at the same time show her affection to them as a mother does to her children.
UDBODHAN (PRAYER-HALL)
29th October 1910
It was early in the morning. I was seated near the Mother's bed. She began to talk to me about the Master.