'one'." . That 'one' is the mind. The mind of the aspirant should be gracious to him.
Talking of her mother, the Holy Mother said, "My mother used to be highly pleased when anyone of the devotees came to our place. She would exclaim, 'Ah! my grandchild has come!' She would look after them with great attention. She looked upon this family of devotees as her own flesh and blood."
Continuing, the Holy Mother said, "When the Master passed away, I also wanted to leave my body. He appeared before me and said, 'No, you must remain here. There are many things to be done.' I myself realized later on that this was true; I had so many things to do. The Master used to say, 'The people of Calcutta live like worms squirming in darkness. You will guide them.' He said that he would live for three hundred years in a subtle body, in the hearts of the devotees. He further said that he would have many devotees among white people.
"After the passing away of the Master, I was at first greatly frightened, for I used to put on a Sari with thin red borders and wear gold bangles on my wrist, which made me afraid of people's criticism.
1 I was then at Kamarpukur. Sri Ramakrishna started appearing often before me. Then I gradually got rid of that fear. One day the Master appeared before me and asked me to feed him with Khichuri. I cooked the dish and offered it before Raghuvir
2 in the temple. Then I mentally fed the Master with it.
"Harish was then staying at Kamarpukur for a few days. One day, when I was entering the house after visiting a neighbour, he began to chase me. He was then in a distracted state of mind. He had lost his senses on account of his wife. There was then no one else in the house. I did not know where to go, and ran quickly behind the barn. He would not, however, leave me. I ran and ran round it seven times till I got exhausted. Then my true self came out. I threw him to the ground, pressed my knee on his chest, drew out his tongue and slapped him hard on the cheeks
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1 Hindu widows, according to traditional custom, are required to put on a white Sari without any border and to give up all ornaments. The Mother at first wanted to follow this custom of Hindu widows, but Sri Ramakrishna appeared in a vision and told her not to do so, as he was not really dead.
2 The tutelary Deity of Sri Ramakrishna's family at Kamarpukur.