myself, "Perhaps in future it will be possible for me, through her grace, to be a monk and live near her."
When I was in Jayrambati, Radhu's mother, Surabala, was mentally deranged. She had taken to her father's house all the jewellery of her daughter Radhu. Taking advantage of her insane condition, her father snatched away all the jewellery. That made her even more distracted. On her return to Jayrambati, Radhu's mother wept in the temple of Simhavahini, praying for the jewellery. It was dusk. I was talking to the Holy Mother in her room when suddenly, she said to me, "My child, I must go now. That crazy sister-in-law of mine has none else to call her own but me. She is weeping before the Deity for the jewellery." With these words, the Mother left the room. But I could not hear any sound of weeping, nor was it possible to do so at such a distance; yet she had recognized the voice. She returned with Radhu's mother. The latter said to her, "O sister-in-law, you have put away my jewellery. You have deprived me of it." The Mother said, "Had these ornaments belonged to me, then I would have thrown them away at once like the filth of a crow." Referring to Radhu's mother, she said to me, laughing, "Girish used to say that she was my mad companion."
At first I used to hesitate to address the Holy Mother as "Mother". My own mother had died during my childhood. One morning the Holy Mother sent me to a certain person on an errand. As I was about to leave, she asked me, "What will you say to him?" I said, "Why? I shall say to him, 'She asked me to tell you, etc.' " "No, my child," said the Holy Mother, "tell him, 'The
Mother asked me to tell you.' " She emphasized the word '
Mother'.
One morning I was reading aloud to the Mother and a few devotees on the porch of her room. I was reading a life of Sri Ramakrishna entitled
Ramakrishna Punthi written in verse. In the chapter on her marriage with Sri Ramakrishna, the author eulogized her greatly and referred to her as the 'Mother of the Universe.' As I read that passage, the Mother left the porch. A few minutes earlier I had read to her some pages from the
Udbodhan, in which had been published a portion of the
Kathamrita by M.
1 No one else was present then. I had been reading the following passage:
Girish: I have a desire.
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1 Mahendra Nath Gupta, the author of the
Kathamrita, translated into English as
The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna.